Sunday, January 31, 2016

Early Morning Thoughts

I was sitting out in the lanai this morning, sipping my coffee and watching the furkids play in the back yard. Most of the grass has been beaten down in that area. Dusty brown sugar sand showing through. There are a few holes here & there, where the youngest two like to dig. Every few days I go out and kick the sandy dirt back in. Our back yard will never be in an issue of Better Homes & Gardens. LOL! On the contrary, it looks like a doggie day care/bomb site. The random holes, ragged stuffed animals, slobbered-on balls scattered about. It may look like a disaster to some, but to me - it is the sign of some happy dogs.

I brought my attention back to The Book in my hands. Reading from scriptures as I try to do daily. Proverbs 1 and the Sermon on the Mount were today's reading. Words of comfort from the Creator never fail to lift my spirit. It's far too easy to be dragged down in this world we live in today. So many bad things happening, cruelty being inflicted on others... I find that I need to remind myself what He intended it to be like. And it isn't this.

Newt, the tomcat that I bottle raised, begins caterwauling. He's noticed me and decides it's time for breakfast. As I pour the dry food into the bowls, he's soon joined by Hagatha & Chewy (2 that we got from a rescue when they were babies) and a striped stray cat that comes by to partake every morning. The bobtail cat that had been showing up hasn't been around in awhile. I hope nothing has happened to him. The life of strays can be rough.

Back indoors, I got online for a bit. I've been feeling more & more discouraged with it lately. Constant bad news, more stories of people's cruelty to one another. To animals. I don't understand the inclination to deliberately be mean. Why? What do they possibly get from it? And then there are those who never seem satisfied with their lot in life. Never happy. They complain constantly. I skim through the headlines, the news feed and find myself ready to shut it off. Maybe it's time to sort through my connections again, and rid myself of some. The ones that provoke, demean and sadden.

None of us are perfect. Especially me. Goodness knows that I've fallen victim to pity parties myself now and again. But for the most part, I stay positive. I appreciate the people & things in my life. The blessings that I have been given. EVERY DAY is a gift! I don't understand how some people can just overlook that and complain all the time. Instead of waking up and finding fault everywhere, I choose to find happiness. Looking for the bright side. Feeling thankful for being given another day - which is something some people aren't fortunate enough to have.

If we could all just be better to each other......

Wednesday, January 27, 2016

Dusting Off the Keyboard / Getting to Know Me Again

I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would find myself living in southcentral Florida. 1,000 miles from where I was born, raised & spent most of my life. A full day's drive from my nearest relatives. In a completely different climate from what I was used to. Surrounded by strangers and unfamiliar way of life. Living where most people vacation took some getting used to; and it isn't all paradise despite what some may think. Yet here I am: blessed/crazy enough to be living in the deep south.

I miss my family. I occasionally get homesick for gator-less rivers and tall Ozark mountains. But those are things that I hold close to my heart and remember with deep fondness. Maybe someday I will visit again... This is home now. Enormous live oak trees draped with Spanish moss. Unbelievable blue skies with puffy, white clouds that reach all the way to heaven. Palm trees that sway in the breeze. Ocean to my right, and the Gulf to my left. 70 and even 80 degree "winter" days.

As my birthday draws near, I find myself reflecting on my life. How far I've come and how far I have to go. Mistakes and bad choices that I have made. Growth and the right decisions that I chose. Above all, the desire to do better, to be a better person in the future. To try harder. I'm in no competition with anyone else, just trying to improve the person that I am, and the mark I will leave behind... if any.

I think it's probably common to feel more comfortable in your own skin, and know yourself better, the older you get. At least, that's been true for me. I'm faaaaar from perfect, and definitely no role model for anyone, but I have come to accept and even appreciate who I am. What I will and will not stand for. And can truthfully say that I always have good intentions these days. Whereas before.... well, not always.

I don't live the life that some would want for me. I don't fit into neat little pigeon holes that others might like. Some may consider me a failure, in their eyes. The amazing thing is - I do not care about all of that anymore. I am what I am, and make no excuses. (another perk of age?) I'm good enough for me, and for God. That's all that matters as far as I am concerned.

If life provided us with "do-overs" there are only a handful of things that I would like to correct. But the fact is, we can only move forward. Looking back accomplishes nothing. Know that I feel regret for hurting people, and sorrow that I can not change it. All I have - is from this moment on.....

Nice to meet you. :)